His Love

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This weekend I attended a conference that forever changed my view of the gospel- my southern baptist be a good girl gospel.  Elyse Fitzpatrick spoke at the women's conference at my church. And for some reason this time it clicked...this time the message of the gospel was different to me. It was freeing to me. And oh what a feeling that is!

Often my view of the gospel is based on what I've done, whether or not God is happy with me or disappointed in me. I seek His approval because that is was I think I need to be saved- to be right with Him. I grew up heavily believing that if I am "good", I will be rewarded, if I am "good" things will work out the way my selfish heart thinks they should, if I am "good" God will be good to me. Oh how I believed this, at times continue to believe this, and I am confident that many others believe this too.

Dear friends- let me tell you- me who struggles to grasp this idea- IT DOES NOT DEPEND ON ME! I know I know- you've heard this before and so had I. But the one thing that I believe will stick in my mind forever is this set of questions: Where is Jesus now? Seated at the right hand of the Father. Is the Father mad at him right now? No. Is the Father disappointed in Him right now? No- He is pleased.
We are IN Christ. He is IN us. We are with Him. When the Lord looks at us, He sees Him. He can see nothing else. And I am loved IN Jesus.

Yes- I fail Him. I will fail, I have failed, I will continue to fail until heaven is my home. But I am loved by the ONLY one who can continue to love and forgive me when I fail. This idea is still new and fresh to me, and I long for it to soak in, to stain me, to last like nothing before.

If I accept and trust that I am LOVED in Him, then my faith can begin to grow. My obedience to Him and His Word must be fueled by THIS LOVE- not the love of the works I've done to please him or to look good. This LOVE- that took the wrath of ALL sin must fuel me. Elyse stated that obedience that is NOT motivated by love is worthless. Most of my obedience or wanting to be better is fueled by my desire to look better- not out love for my redeemer. This thought makes me wince- to think about the many times I want ME to look better- how often I seek my own praise- how pitiful I am. As my mind swiftly runs down this defeating path, I am reminded once again- IT DOES NOT DEPEND ON ME!

I have been redeemed from the pit of hell. The ONE who redeemed me continues to love me every time I fail him. I cannot escape Him. He took my wrath ONCE and FOR ALL! I am loved. And I love BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED ME.

Crafts and a Cutie

Poor D had to work on Monday- that meant I had the house to myself. My craft / guest room received a much needed cleaning. 

These neatly organized supplies are just calling my name!

On a completely different note, it just doesn't get cuter that this. 

This was a few moments after he knocked a chunk out of my great-grandmother's table.

Moments

I am grateful that these moments have been captured.
What a gift they are.

Adore

"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.
Therefore Israel will be abandoned until the time when she who is in labor gives birth and the rest of his brothers return to join the Israelites. He will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they will live securely ,for then his greatness will reach to the ends of the earth  And he will be their peace.
-Micah 5:2-5

Adore the One who is our peace this season.

Truth

I am a woman who is crippled by anxiety and worry. My mind and emotions revert to this cry for control too often. I have allowed it to become natural and somewhat comfortable to me- not knowing how to turn it off. That's what I really want to be able to do- simply switch it off. I am learning that as a believer there is much that we must put off. Each day my selfish, control seeking flesh was to rule my thoughts, actions, and words- I must rage against what is natural- put off what is natural- and slowly and steadily clothe myself with truth.

For me, each day there are different truths that I must wear, trust, and believe. And often I fail- anxious thoughts slither into my mind and hiss lies to me- and I believe them. They cloud the truth, and strip off what I've worked to put on.  Thank goodness for grace- sweet sweet grace- that saves me. Thank goodness for Jesus who crushed the serpent's head with his heal and sat down at the right hand of the Father. My Savior- the author of Truth- is victorious. I can rejoice in Him and His accomplished work. I can believe that He is not finished with me.

I recently was waiting for results. Waiting for months. If the results were positive, they would be helpful for our family and my career. If they were negative, it was not the end of the world, and I could easily move on. However as the release crept closer, I let the negative become my world. The week before I had many sleepless nights filled with worry. I spoke words of faith and trust to those around me- but that was not what my heart would have shown. I wanted to show that I was ready for whatever was to come. But how I failed! The meditation of my heart was filled with worry- expecting punishment- not grace- not blessings. I clung to Colossians 1:17- "He is before all things and in Him all thing hold together." But I had hard time confidently wearing that truth.

The day before the release- my always wise mother called me out on my lack of trust after I revealed some of my faithless actions. Truth- she spoke truth to me. Thank goodness that the Lord does not expect me to put on new life on my own. His spirit, His word, and His people are there to guide in the daily practice of putting on truth.

As I reflect on these recent events, I am very thankful for this time. It was difficult for me, but it was a blessing. It reminded me the importance of truth and daily prayer. This time has brought me closer to Jesus and all that He is. I hope that as I move forward I will see each blessing that comes from His grace. He loves me- He does not seek to punish me- but to simply make me more like him. His truth sets me free!


"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another." - John 1:16

Saturday Craft

This past week I decided to take some time off from Pinterest. I found that it was taking up too much of my time. I also wanted to take time to BE crafty. Here is the result:

Stillness

Today I am thankful for the still moments in my life. My still moments come in the early morning on my drive to work and in the late afternoon as I wait for D to come through the door. Lately, still moments at the end of the school day have been few and far between. I have been run ragged between teacher meetings, parent conferences,appointments, and errands. Bouncing from one place to another causes waves of stress to ripple through my mind. The house isn't clean, Moose hasn't been played with, I dont have dinner ready, when was the last time I did laundry....These thoughts slowly consume me without warning. I find that I am a woman who is allowing my lack of control to control me. The Lord in his goodness has reminded me of several things this week. 1- He has specific purposes for me each day. Most likely, they are not apart of my to-do list, and they WILL BE MISSED if I am not watching and waiting for them. 2- Stress can be addicting. In a conversation with my mother-who is always wise- she reminded me that stress can be addicting. Satan enjoys to see us stressed because it takes our mind off of the Lord. 3- I am given enough for today- not tomorrow- just today.
Dear friends rest in HIS goodness today!